A few years ago the 'I'm not here right now moments' started. It was while I was on the race. We were trying
to get to Malawi from Johannesburg, South Africa. It seemed like all the doors
were closing, yet there was no doubt we were called to that place. So a few of
us got on our knees and prayed at the Brown Sugar hostel. During our prayer
time, Kim said, "we're not here right now..."
She saw us seated in heavenly places in God's
throne room. It was as though the reality of where we were was no reality at
all. Heaven came down right there.
That was the beginning of countless supernatural moments. Since then it seems like they happen more and more, so much so that it is starting to become
normal, as it should be...right?!
A few nights ago heaven came down yet again; this
time in my backyard...
One of my fav things is laying out under the stars.
I'm so fascinated by the sky. Each night, as I lay in bed I look up at the night
sky. Every now and then I'll sit up by the window sill and just think... A few
nights ago was like any normal night...
It was late. I was so tired. I thought I'd be
asleep the moment my head hit the pillow, but laying there looking at the sky
for a few, I felt like I needed to sit up and look out. I thought God
was going to show me a shooting star! But instead He had much more in mind.
There were really big, bright, white flashing circles in the night sky. My first
thought was, wow, I've never seen airplanes
with flashy lights so big, let alone planes flying that close to each other....hmm, oh
well. Soon enough, the lights began to sparkle sporadically in the trees,
and on the ground. They'd take turns flickering all over the place...
...Angels?!!? or maybe I
was just going crazy seeing things! Everyone else was sleeping, but someone had
to see this! I didn't want to leave that place so even though she was right
across the hall, I called my sister Kendra. She answered her phone deliriously,
of course. Excitedly, told her, "you have to get up and come here! I see
angels!" hahah! (yeah, that's normal!) Still half asleep
she came over and to my surprise she could see them too!
Likely it seemed like a dream to her when she woke
up the next day, because she only stayed for a few minutes. After she left, a
peace overwhelmed me, I felt the presence of of God surround me and had a
vision of him crowning me and placing a purple robe on me. Royalty. woah! ha..speechless, blown away, I don't know how to explain it.
I wish I could've stayed up all night to watch
them sparkle all over the place. Haha, I was actually hoping for a grand finale
of all the angels lighting up at the same time, but I just couldn't keep my
eyes open any longer.
Regardless of if we can see it or not, this is
the real deal! It is an absolutely glorious life. It's reality. There are angels among us. The presence of God surrounds us. Eternity is now. Heaven is
invading earth! Perhaps, it wasn't
so much an 'I'm not here right now moment'
but rather a 'Heaven is here moment!'
"..Wake
up from normal life...cause Heaven is here now. He's all around us! "
-kim walker
It
really is unbelievable how fast time goes by. I only have one day left here at G42.
The reality of it won't fully hit until I board my plane home. It always seems
to work like that.
It's
like prom or high school graduation, like driving with my car loaded down out
of my college town for the last time and the final airplane rides and goodbyes
of the world race.... It's the moments that inevitably come, but always seem
surreal until they actually happen. This
is one of them.
It's
pretty straightforward. Seasons come and seasons go. For a new one to begin,
one has to end. Life happens and that's just how it goes. I'm not sure if this mindset is me trying to
avoid the emotions of goodbye or if it's simply the reality of life...I think it's
reality, well maybe both, either way bottom line is: goodbyes are never fun,
but new beginnings are guaranteed to bring new adventures.
For
me it's time for a new season and I'm as ready as I'll ever be...
Today
in class we talked about "THE ONE DAY
MIND SET" It's the repeated line we often hear that begins with..."well ONE DAY dot dot dot I'll do this or I'll
do that...One day, when I own a house....One day when I get married...One day when I
have kids...One day I'll help this person...One day I'll go here or there...One day
when I retire..." and so on. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about...
Those
moments often come and go and the dot dot
dot never happens. The big dreams get put on hold and 'the one day' gets
pushed back to another. Soon enough time catches up, life passes by, and
nothing ever gets done. If we are always waiting for the perfect time to do
something, will anything ever get done?
Perhaps
the one day spiel is just an excuse or a justification to not do what we are
called to do NOW.
If we're living for the 'One Day' we will miss the windows of opportunity that
today holds...
"All
that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing" -Edmund
Burke
One
of the things I strive for in life is to live FULLY in the moments of NOW,
rather than waiting until later. That's
my challenge for you. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing: the TIME is NOW.
The LIGHT is GREEN
The ANSWER is YES
The WORD is GO -david fredriksz
For me, the ONE DAY I have left here is the NOW...
The vision I have for ONE DAY when I get home is almost NOW...
And until then I won't let the windows of opportunity pass me by...
The best days are ahead of us!
For
some reason I always find it easier to think of something good to write bout when it comes to
writing emails than when I go to write a blog. Lately, there's been approx. 90898211 random
thoughts going through my head ...I always just feel like a blog has to be
something so put together, deep and profound... I guess that's good, but
I'm not really all that prim and proper, and put together... so this is a
bunch of randomness...
It seems to be the assumption
about missionaries...that we are perfect. Ha.ha! That's what I used to think...until
I became one. Then I saw that we are just as ordinary as the next person. Actually,
in Comparative Religions in high school, I totally failed the test on
Christianity! Oops! And YES! I was a Christian then, but then again, it's not
like I did so hott on any of the tests for other religions either, but I did still
passed them...(( try not to be intimidated by my intelligence hah)) The point is,
anyone can make a difference, the question is are you willing to say yes?
Too often as 'Christians' we
put on that front that we do have everything put together and are a step above
the rest....I don't like that. From all ends, I'm pretty sure the facade is common knowledge, but no one really seems to do anything to bridge the gap and change
it. We need to start. Andrew Shearman always says, "if we master any two things in life it should be: HUMILTY AND
THANKFULNESS." I completely agree.
That's what we all need to strive to live like that. If we start living like
that surely things would begin to change.
Answering the questions of the week: How do you feel about going home?
It's just a fact of life. Seasons come and seasons go. Change is the only thing
permanent in our lives...so, yes. I can say I do look forward to what is next,
however, I really haven't thought about how I feel about it. Maybe excited, but
more so just indifferent. I'll be ready when it comes, but until then,
honestly, I'm not going to dwell on it, because I am here! Loving life!
And what are you going to do next? Welllllllll I am going back home to
Pennsylvania, of course. Then I want to begin to change the world...totally cliché.
That starts by making a difference in the life of just one person, and then
another and then another. K that's a pretty general statement ((if you want to know more, let me know and I'll
send you the extensive version of HOW I am going to do that)) No one ever
told me that I could change the world, but I do wish someone would have. And
now that I know I can (through Christ obviously), I want to tell others and
empower them to do the same!
We didn't have classes this
week, as it is practicum week, meaning other responsibilities. I've spent most
of my days, on the computer attempting to connect G42 to the World Race by getting in contact with people who are interested in coming here (if you are
interested! WRITE ME!),
and reading/commenting on countless blogs like the one you're reading. Although
it's mucho time staring at the computer it has been restful, and I'd say
an encouraging week hearing people hearts and being inspired by the thoughts and
stories of those on the field... All in
all, life here has been absolutely amazing. We are going
on our third day straight of no rain...well, maybe it rained today? But just a
little. Anyways if that's the biggest dilemma in life then I sure do have a lot
to be thankful for!
ps: If you think of anything deep
and profound you'd like me to write about pleeease let me know and I'll do it.
I miss ice cream-(had to say it!)
k. That's all! Love you all mucho!
There's a lot of answers that people give, among many of
which are: Kingdom, discipleship, a
tribe, a generation of young people who want to fight to claim their inheritance,
for those who aren't ready to settle for
ordinary, spiritual fathers and apostolic headship. It is hope, passion; a diving
board that will spring me into the rest of my life. It is a network that has
nothing to do with knowledge and everything to do with impartation. It is about
empowerment, activation and release. It is dreaming big dreams and making them
come true. It is others 'making their ceiling our floor' and learning from the
past and working together to build the kingdom of God. It is calling out greatness
so I can become who I was created to be...It is a movement.
On the World Race I discovered
my identity and at G42 I learned to walk in it. After getting off of the Race
I thought I could do anything and pretty much conquer the world. I had learned
my identity, but it lacked depth and substance. To say the least, when I got
home it was a big wake up call to see that I was not fully equipped to, cliché as
it sounds, change the world. On the Race I was filled and connected with God
through the experiences, the people, the ministry, and the community, but when
I got home all of that was gone. I was able to encourage a lot of people
through the stories and my experiences, but I still felt as though I was living
in the past experiences instead of the present hope and future of God. I couldn't bring a constant flow of life by
living out of an 11 month experience. I needed something more... I needed
something new and something fresh. So that is what brought me here.
G42 has released me to become who I was called to be and has empowered me. It has added value to my life. They have given me
all the tools I need to go and plant the kingdom of God. I have been developed as a leader with
character. I have learned my potential,
greatness and destiny. I was created to be me and made to be loved by God. I have learned truths here that I wish I
would have known all my life.
G42 has challenged me to give answers to the hard questions
like: what am I going to do, where am I going to go, who am I going to work
with, what is my vision, my calling, who am I made to be? Thinking of how to
answer these questions has shown me my purpose and calling in life. With
awareness of all this brings new responsibility for my life. I will
leave this place having made a plan and saying Amen.
It has shown me that lives change and big things happen when people chase their dreams. I never would have considered myself a dreamer, and here I was encouraged to
dream again. One man, Andrew
Shearman, had a dream to raise up 100,000 leaders and a generation who is
willing to give up their lives to take the kingdom by force. He always
says he became an overnight success after 20 years of chasing this dream, and
it is beautiful. It has shown me that dreams aren't at all measured only by
American standards, but instead by what is inside of us and who we were created
to be, and what we were called to do. Furthermore, they aren't just something
to have a nice conversation about, they are there to chase after and make a reality. We
need to dream big, and then dream bigger because impossible is nothing.
The staff has given up everything for the sake of making 7
people great. They have loved us and let us into their lives. I feel so honored
and humbled by that! Now, after a year of being trusted in the small things,
the school has 21 interns and is growing rapidly! It is awesome. All of the
leaders and teachers have shared their failures, successes, stories, wisdom,
knowledge etc. in hopes that we will learn from their mistakes. They want us to build upon them making their 'ceiling to be our floor.' They call out
our potential and push us to destiny and that is what it is all about...from generation to generation may his glory shine.
They have held us to high standards of excellence in all we
do and have taught us the importance of character, thankfulness and humility. It
is not a typical school where you show up to class, get a bunch of knowledge
and go on with your life. We do life together. The teachers and the other
interns have become family to me and they will be in my life forever.
I want
to take the kingdom by force and walk to the beat of a different drum. I want to risk it all and go be the hands, feet, the love and the will of God!
All in all G42 has prepared me for the rest of my life...
Thank you all for being a part of this! love.love.
This
past weekend I went to Holland. We spent one afternoon walking around Amsterdam.
It gave brand new meaning to window shopping. I couldn't believe what I saw...
Instead
of seeing windows filled with mannequins wearing the latest fashion I saw women
my age of all shapes and sizes in thongs, bikinis, fish nets and lingerie.
Each
woman stood behind a door. Some of them would do a little dance or give a
provoking smile, whereas others stood in a broken daze. Meanwhile, the men would
come to their door. I saw them knock and the door open. They entered, the door
closed, the curtain quickly shut behind them.
It
didn't take me having to see anything to know what happens next...
Further
up the road, I saw another door open, a man leaving and continuing on with his
life. I saw a pimp with a content smirk, standing on the doorstep wearing his
big fur coat and hat.
At large, all I saw was a
cheap and skewed view of love.
As I
continued down the street with red lights I felt so helpless. All I could do was
smile at them. My eyes were drawn to the eyes of those on the other side of the
window. Each time they met, it felt like the world paused for a split second.
And
when this happened, I began to see something different.
I
saw hope in the midst of a lost and broken world. I saw value and potential in
each man and woman I passed. If only they knew. I saw the eyes of darkness and despair
see a glimpse of light and joy through a single smile.
I
saw that the search for temporary 'love' is not what they are truly looking
for.
They
are not even looking for something, but rather they are longing for someone.
Their search for LOVE is
really just a search for our eternal, everlasting, pure loving God.
Although,
day after day the red lights turn on, the men fill the streets and the women
fill the windows, there will be a day when the lights are turned off, when the
men will no longer be searching and the women will be set free....
Because
Now I see God's everlasting hope is rising, his light is shining in the darkest
of all places and the kingdom is coming! There is nothing that can stop that!
The everydays
of life have become so normal to me that often times I forget, my 'normal' isn't
so normal. This is my normal...
It is living on the most beautiful street in a little Spanish casa here in Mijas,
Spain. Normal is living in community with 9 other people, sleeping on the top bunk,
cooking dinner for 10+ each night, staying up late to make sure everything is
clean and ready to go for another day. It is hanging my clothes to dry out on
the line and praying it doesn't rain during the 2/3 days it takes to fully dry
them. It is sporadic hot water and lately even electric...
My normal day is non-stop, go, go, go. It
is full of laughter, relationships and responsibility. Lately a normal day
begins at the sound of my alarm going off at 6:45am. I quickly get out of bed
already dressed in my work-out clothes, throw on my sneakers, and go for a run.
As I do, I watch the sunrise and crank up the worship music. Honestly, what
more could I ask for?!
I
make it back tothe other house to grab a hot shower (if I'm lucky), get ready
and eat some breakfast. By this time it is already 8:30 and classes begin in an
hour. If it's not a prayer morning, I sit outside looking out over the beautiful
Mediterranean to spend some time with God.
I
quick grab a cup of coffee and make my way downstairs to the garage by 9:30.
Yepp, this is where I spend most of my time...in class. We start with prayer and
worship followed by teachings. Class til 11, quick coffee break, and it resumes
until noon. Break time follows from 12 til 2. I walk back to my house, likely
eat granola cereal or grilled cheese for lunch and head out the door to a
meeting or a coffee date with a friend.
Soon
enough, it's 2 o'clock. Break time is over and back to the garage I go from 2 more hours of class. If it's my week to cook I try to go directly home at four to
make dinner, if not I hang out with some friends or attempt to get something
accomplished from my never-ending check list.
6
oclock! Dinner time! I have dinner with the other 9 people I live with and some
of the leaders of the school join us. As we all finish eating, tea and coffee
is served and we just sit around and talk-one of my favorite parts of the day!
And yes, you counted right, that adds up to 4 hot drinks (coffee,tea) everyday!
Haha.
By
this time it's 7:15 or 7:30 and then the extra curriculars begin.
Mondays-manualidades, Tuesday-worship night, Wednesday-dance class, Thursday
nights-knitting and pub ministry. The
activities end at 8:30 and usually we hang out, get work done, watch a movie, or
something of the sort afterwards. Every night I tell myself I will make it to
bed 'early' (before midnight), which never really happens...My day ends praying
as I fall asleep as another 'normal day' is soon to arrive.
Likely it seemed like a dream to her when she woke
up the next day, because she only stayed for a few minutes. After she left, a
peace overwhelmed me, I felt the presence of of God surround me and had a
vision of him crowning me and placing a purple robe on me. Royalty. woah! ha..speechless, blown away, I don't know how to explain it.
I
saw that the search for temporary 'love' is not what they are truly looking
for. 
living in community with 9 other people, sleeping on the top bunk,
cooking dinner for 10+ each night, staying up late to make sure everything is
clean and ready to go for another day. It is hanging my clothes to dry out on
the line and praying it doesn't rain during the 2/3 days it takes to fully dry
them. It is sporadic hot water and lately even electric...
Soon
enough, it's 2 o'clock. Break time is over and back to the garage I go from 2 more hours of class. If it's my week to cook I try to go directly home at four to
make dinner, if not I hang out with some friends or attempt to get something
accomplished from my never-ending check list.
