As I turn back to my journals it's
almost as though I feel the emotions of coming home all over again.
I'll be honest the first night ya'll (July '08 Squad) came home I
found myself grieving with you and actually breaking down that
night. All the little details of coming home linger in my thoughts,
down to the feelings I had as I layed my head down in my big comfy
bed after 322 days around the world. Thinking, 'woah! I don't know if
I can deal with this.'
Ten days after being home
is where my first post race journal entry begins, specifically marked
at the top of the page "POST RACE: DAY 10"
This is what it reads...
Some days are good, some days are bad,
but most are just mundane. It seems like this place is the exact same
way I left it. The word we were reminded of before we left to come
home was "ABIDE in Him, to guard and protect quiet time with the
Lord." Although that has been my intention and really the only
thing on my agenda, it always seems to be the one to get overlooked.
I'm unmotivated, my heart thirsts for
that time, but that unmotivated "blah feeling" is what consumes
me. God, I need you. God, where are you? This is so difficult! Why do
I ignore you? I'm drowning in the apathyof this place. I really don't
care about much of anything. I'm searching for purpose here-and yes
God is working, I see it...but feel so distant.
"Submit yourselves,
then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near
to me and I will draw near to you" James 4:7-8
This entry is followed by a few pages
of prophecying over myself, the Lord reminding me who I was (my old
self) and who I am now (my new self) and God comforting me as He
tells me of His faithfulness and tells me he'll never leave me nor
forsake me which is all so comforting.
These next few days I want to
encourage you to remind yourself who you are in Christ and who He is
in you. Sit with the Lord ask him to reveal to you who he has made
you to be. Prophecy it over yourself daily. Remember you are the
BREATH of LIFE. You know and hear the Lord's voice, He's always
speaking to you. He has amazing plans for you, a purpose, and a high
calling on your life! You are empowered, a light in dark places, you
are chosen. You're in the world, but not of it, You are not in this
process alone, it's okay to feel these feelings. People care and are
hungry to hear about what God has done in your life. Do not be
silent.
Feel free to contact me,
to share what you are doing, and specifically how I can be praying for
each one of you...
I understand what youre going through and honestly somedays feel like its still only been 10 days since being home. :)
"...and I want you to
stress ALL these things, so that those who have trusted God may be
careful to DEVOTE THEMSELVES to doing what is good. These things are
excellent and profitable to everyone." Titus 3:8
When we arrived to Cambodia, our final
ministry month, one of my teammates, Steve said, "different
country, same God" and I've remembered that. It's been
6 months already since being home. These past months have been a
complete roller coaster ride...some good days and bad days each filled
with challenges, emptiness, change, lonliness, but a constant joy
because our God remains the same.
My transition game plan was simple...to
simply ignore it. I figured being happy is much more fun, I'll just
have fun, make the best of things, wait for things to happen and
eventually things will fall into place. Furthermore, I had no clue
how to process a life changing year. And let's face it, it's so much
easier to ignore the hard issues than to face the true emotion, pain
and hurt of it all. On the outside I was perfectly fine,
yet on the inside my spirit was screaming, my heart breaking and
thirsting for more of the Lord.
After several weeks of my complacent
game plan, I finally broke down. I felt empty, alone, yet fully
dependent on the Lord to bring me through it all. I was overwhelmed,
but realized I couldn't be stagnant or nostalgic. I had to begin
taking steps to move forward in my relationship with Christ as a
daughter of God. I began taking up my cross each day and CHOOSING
to spend time with the Lord. And that's what it all comes down to, A
CHOICE, regardless of if you're dealing with transition or not.
Since being home, I've struggled, I've
been tested and challenged and I've grown tremendously. Still, not a
day goes by that I don''t think about the prostitutes, lepers,
orphans, earthquake victims, English students and all the people
we've met and relationships we've made around the world. I learned
that there's no timeline for the re-entry process. Transition
never ends, we only become more comfortable with the idea of it. And
each day we have a choice to make...to show allegiance to God or to
Satan.
Over the next few
weeks I want to get real with you about these past few months of
being home, especially for the JULY '08 squad who just got home. I
pray that this brings light to the lies of the enemy, that it may
encourage you during this process and challenge you to press into facing the emotions of being home. I'm so proud of ya'll!! It will be a
struggle, yet God continuously proves He is worthy and faithful.
Welcome home F Squad! And remember... "different country, same God."
Willow Street resident Becky Miller is passionate
about her relationship with Jesus Christ. That passion took her on an
11-month trip around the world in 2008 with the World Race, a program
of Adventures in Missions. On Wednesday, May 20, from 7 to 8:30 p.m.,
Miller will give a multimedia presentation about her travels, the work
she did, the relationships she built, and her desire to live for Jesus
Christ to area youths in the Family Life Center of Refton Brethren in
Christ Church, 110 Church St., Refton.
"I believe
that young people need to hear what Becky has to say for them to
realize that God is still alive, that he still works on their behalf,
that he still cares for them, and he loves them," commented associate
pastor David McAdams.
Participating in the World
Race, which involved living out of a 30-pound backpack, working with
earthquake victims in Peru and leprosy patients in India, serving in
orphanages in several countries, and sharing the Gospel in Thailand,
was the catalyst that changed Miller from a believer to a follower of
Jesus Christ. Through illnesses she and her teammates suffered, meals
of guinea pigs and fried slugs, and even robbery at gunpoint in South
Africa, Miller's faith was strengthened.
"God
has so much grace for us that in the midst of our sin, he still proves
that he is mighty and loves us the same, regardless," Miller remarked.
Miller
graduated from Lampeter-Strasburg High School in 2003 and attended
Shippensburg University, from which she graduated in 2007 with a degree
in Spanish and teaching certification. Since returning from her trip,
Miller has substitute taught in various districts, but mostly in
Lampeter-Strasburg and Solanco. She volunteers as the
Lampeter-Strasburg middle school girls' soccer coach. Later this year,
she plans to complete a six-month term at the G42 Leadership Academy in
Mijas Pueblo, Spain, to continue developing the Christian discipleship
skills and spiritual growth she experienced on the World Race.
Eventually,
Miller would like to return to Thailand. During her stay in that
country last year, she and her teammates built relationships with
several prostitutes, offering them opportunities to escape from that
lifestyle. She also taught English in a local school, seeing firsthand
how illiteracy and a lack of education contributed to women turning to
prostitution as their only means to support themselves.
Miller
is also considering returning to Lancaster County after studying in
Spain to establish a discipleship program for teenage girls. They would
meet once a week during the school year to study God's Word and develop
their faith, and then spend about six weeks in missions during the
summer.
"(We need to) build up a generation
willing to set aside themselves and stand up for Jesus," Miller said.
"It doesn't take leaving the country and living out of a backpack to be
a missionary. The big thing is that love really changes people. It
sounds cliché, but love changes things."
Although
Miller's presentation is directed toward youths, everyone is invited to
attend. The evening will include icebreakers, group games, and a time
of worship. Those who would like to read archived accounts of Miller's
trip may visit beckymiller.theworldrace.org. For more information about
the presentation, individuals may call the church at 786-3008.
((article from the Willow Street Advertiser...my local newspaper.))
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. ROMANS 8:16
I half jokingly thought about how this is my new ministry and tonight I finally realized the truth in that statement. Since the beginning of March I have been volunteering coaching soccer with middle school girls. I'm not going to lie, but I did expect to do more coaching instead of chasing after balls and doing the jobs no one wants to do. My frustrations only increased yesterday at our second game when a girl got injured and I took her to the trainer instead of watching the game, but deep down knew the importance and seeking the joy of being a servant.
So tonight, instead of having practice we had team dinner. And again, not going to lie, I was bored when I got there, quite frankly I didn't really care to be there. Eventually, however, we got playing games, talking and having fun. One conversation after another led us from talking about scars to injuries that God used to lead me into opportunites for me to share what the Lord has shown me this year about healings and his faithfulness in answering prayers.
What happened next was totally a moment of bringing kingdom to earth. A few of the girls, after hearing the stories of healing got super excited and insisted we pray for Sarah's ankle and achille's tendon which she hurt in yesterday's game. We had to do it! Several of us gathered around her as we laid our hands on her ankle and prayed all together simply asking the Lord to heal her in the name of Jesus.
Sarah put her crutches down to test it, and as we all held back tears of joy and amazment we watched her walk on it!!! She said it still hurt just a little, but most of the pain disappeared. The excitement, laughter and disbelief spread throughout the room quickly, as we prayed once more. This time even more girls gathered around!! And she walked. Again! I think there was still some pain, so she left on her crutches, but without a doubt she will be healed this weekend and playing again next week!!! An injury that was to keep her from playing for at least 2 weeks, will keep her out for 2 days because of the mighty miraculous power of the Lord!
MIRACLES are NOT JUST SOMETHING THAT HAPPEN IN THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES with PEOPLE WE'VE NEVER MET and may NEVER SEE AGAIN...
...but they happen HERE in OUR TOWNS, with OUR FRIENDS and FAMILY when we step out BOLDLY IN THE NAME OF JESUS!!!!!
We can pray for signs and wonders and miracles all we want, and God can work in that way, but I believe it is moments like this where we follow the Spirit and step out in faith trusting the Lord! God is amazing! I'm so thankful He never ever changes and really needed that reminder! Yesterday. Today. And forever. He will never cease to take my breath away.
I ask that you can continue to pray that God will open up doors for me in this ministry, for the girls to have open hearts to hear about the greatness of the Lord and lastly that Sarah's healing will be sealed and fully complete in the name of Jesus.
Maybe you're sitting behind the computer screen contemplating reasons why you should go on the World Race. Here are ten reasons for you:
You learn who you are. Going on the World Race
introduces you to the person that God wants you to be. You won't
necessarily be the Jack Bauer or Indiana Jones of missionaries, but
you'll definitely learn what the heart of God is and how He wants to
use that to show you who you need to be in the Kingdom. And let's face
it - you're more than just another employee slaving away in a cubicle,
or a student going blindly into the ‘real world' after college.
You get to see the world. Surely
somewhere within you there's a desire to see the world. Most people
think it's only a fantasy or a fairytale, but let's be honest, with God
anything is possible. The World Race
takes you to over ten different countries across four different
continents... and God pays the bill, not you. Plus you can tell
everyone you've been to Africa.
You can't be labeled a boring Christian. Most
people think that Christianity is kind of a drudge and there's
propaganda everywhere claiming that. Well, thankfully, you don't have
to be a boring Christian. Twenty-four hour bus rides through the
African bush is anything but boring, and feeding orphans and widows is
a lot more adventurous than people give it credit for. But there's only
one way to find out.
You will change the world. This
isn't meant as a joke – you really will change the world. For each life
you touch and empower with the love of God, they in turn will touch a
life. It's just like the pay-it-forward principle, only with Jesus and
love. It's pretty cool. This gets engrained into your everyday life
when you go on the World Race. Maybe along the way you'll change the life that's going to find the cure for AIDS.
You learn to hear God's voice. Seriously,
God still talks. There are a lot of rumors going on out there that He
has a British accent and that He even talks in Spanish. Moses and Jesus
weren't the only ones who had an ‘in' with God; you do too. Going on
the World Race perfects your ear for His voice.
You get to learn the things you didn't learn in Sunday school. What if, hypothetically speaking, they didn't teach you something in Sunday school? Would you know what is? Because on the World Race, they know what you didn't learn... and they're willing to teach it to you.
You'll raise the dead. You
really will raise the dead... literally and figuratively. There haven't
been any reported cases of World Racers raising the literally dead yet,
but maybe you will be our first. It's been prophesied... are you it?
Learn about the Matrix. Maybe
the Wachowski brothers were onto something when they created that
infamous movie back in the late 90's. What if you really are living in
a reality that isn't really reality? If you've ever wondered if there's
something behind everything you see, you should check out the World Race – swallow the red pill and see how far the rabbit hole goes.
You learn what community really is. Relationships
can only go so far with people when you're sharing just a dorm room for
nine months. Community runs a lot deeper than a dorm room. Living life
with a group of people united in purpose and Truth changes things –
like the world. Explore the heart of Acts community and see it come to
life through relationships that you'll maintain even after the World Race.
Pursue the dream God's planted in you. Sometimes there are dreams we have in life that get crushed by your typical 9-5 obligations. The World Race
helps awaken your wildest dreams and plants a picture in how they can
fit into the Kingdom. Do what you love doing while seeing God's Kingdom
come to life through your life.
So what's it going to be? You're sitting on the edge of something great and it's as easy as applying. This is more than a mission trip. Go on the World Race and change your life and others'. There's something more out there... are you willing to look for it?
YOU
KNOW YOU'VE BEEN OFF THE RACE FOR 1 MONTH WHEN...
Every
time you get in the shower you thank God for hot running water.
It's weird waking up to silence
You still carry deodorant and a head
lamp in your purse and its normal.
The majority of the time you ignore
phone calls because you're still getting over the fact that everyone
has a direct line to talk to you whenever, wherever.
You don't go a day without being
asked... "oh, what are you going to do now?"
Your world race backpack is still not
quite unpacked yet and you don't plan on doing it anytime soon.
Even though it's cold, you still go
around in your barefeet so your feet can be on carpet.
You get excited when your mom makes a
homecooked meal, but if you get to the table to find rice, potatoes
and/or chicken you'd prefer just not eat.
Although before leaving for the race
you craved sweets, now you crave fruits and vegetables because they're
somewhat uncommon on the race.
You can sit anywhere for prolonged
amount of time without even breaking a sweat.
Although your family has a dishwasher you still tend to hand wash your own dishes and volunteer to do everyone else's as well.
You see an unknown object on the floor
or on your clothes and freak out because you think it's a rat or a
large bug.
The main ministry you do is the list of
chores left for you daily on the kitchen table.
Banks? What? Yeah, you still have yet to go to one. (likely because you have no source of income)
You no longer use skype to talk to
people from home, but instead only to talk to The World Race family.
Your facebook wall is full of
messages from world racers.
You're still getting over the fact that
you could potentially be 'stuck' in the same country for over 5
weeks.
It seems as though nothing at home has changed.
You cannot go a day without talking to
another racer.
When driving you have to think twice
about which side of the road you're supposed to be on and sometimes
even attempt to get in the passenger seat when getting in the car.
Although you have an entire closet full
of clothing you still tend to wear the same few outfits over and
over again.
No matter what the topic of
conversation it always reminds you of a story from the race.
You have yet to wear any of the
clothing that actually made it home with you at the end of the year.
Sometimes you think about sleeping on your thermarest outside in your tent to feel like you're at home.
You no longer get excited about
McDonalds since there are better options (well maybe unless your name
is Rusty Jackson)...nor see Ramen Noodles as luxery (Rubie and Nate!) or carry peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches in your cargo pockets (Kelton! ha)
You no longer talk about deucing with
everyone around you, in fact you really don't talk about it at all.
You get excited bout drinking water
because you can get it directly from the tap...with iCE!
When going to the bathroom you still
hesitate almost putting your toilet paper in the trash can, and as
you throw it in the toilet remember all the places you had to put it
in the trash and think, maybe it wasn't so bad after all.
You have few to no manners.
Instead of talking about deucing or gross sicknesses at the dinner table you discuss intellectual things.
You realize you can live with so little
and are ready to get rid of the extra clothes and little things.
Shopping stressful because
there are set prices and no bargaining. And $10 for a shirt or food
is no longer expensive. Yet at the same time it's so overwhelming because you know how simply you can live.
Hand sanitizer is STILL your best
friend.
Regardless of how dirty a public
restroom is, it's clean in your eyes (comparing it to all the filthy
bathrooms we were in this year). But if it's really bad you prefer to just be outside or at a squatty potty.
Some days you just don't shower.
You plan absolutely nothing. Others
can't stand it, but for you it works perfectly fine.
When most of your sentences begin with,
"yeah, when I was on the race..."
...no one seems to understand.
It's never been more fun to wear
sweaters, coats, JEANS, a 2 piece bathing suit, and to get dressed
up.
You start crying or breakdown at the
most random, unpredictable moments.
You're trying to figure out how to save
enough money to get back to your favorite place as soon as possible.
You still don't know what's next and
are okay with it.
You look at your watch and think
about what time it is in each country you've been in.
You are constantly thinking about the
people you have met and are always wonder how they are doing and
when or if you'll ever get to see them again.
Are longing for world race worship.
You are cautious, because you don't have health insurance.
You're often unsure of what day it is,
let alone have any sense of time.
You don't really care about much of
anything, because in the grand perspective of the world it all seems
so small.
You're always trying to figure out how you can meet up with a fellow world racer as soon as possible. Or simply thinking...how can I do the race all over again!?
You know you're life will never ever ever be the same again...
Lastly, you remember you're just in another country and GOD REMAINS THE SAME and is with you every step of the way.
Posted in Going Home by Becky Miller on 11/17/2008
Something amazing happened tonight.
My team and I are currently on an Island in Koh Samet Thailand for
our final debrief (we fly home this FRIDAY! crrazy!) The year has been
amazing, but i will save all those details for my next blog. The
purpose of this blog is so show how huge/powerful my God is.
Sarah, Rubie, Me and Rach
Tonight, after a wonderful evening of worship together as a squad
my friends Sarah, Rubie, Rachel and myself headed over to 7/11 to get
some late night snacks. Rach was the first one to head out of the store
and we noticed across the street a man
and a women falling to the ground. It was obvious that they had been
drinking and were a bit tipsy, but their clumsyness had cause a bit of
a rucus. The girl had apprently hit her shin really really hard which
caused a decent size lump to appear. She was mostly surrounded by
drunk men and Rach went over to check to see if everything was okay. So Sarah, Rubie and I headed over as well. Her leg looked bad, almost as though her shin bone could have been broken, but regardless there was a huge bump there. The young Thai girl was crying. As Rachel leaned over she put her slushy on the woman's leg to function as ice to help relieve some of the pain. I knew we needed to pray. "On earth as it is in heaven" and surely there are no broken bones and bumps in heaven. So we layed hands on her and prayed to Jesus asking for healing. I prayed that God would mend back together the bones that were broken and heal her. Just a really simple prayer which without a doubt I knew God was going to heal her! When we finished praying I looked down at her leg where Rachel still had her slushie. The bump and broken bone was healed. Her leg was back to normal!!!!! It was incredible! One of the drunk men there continued to massage her leg, trying to help and the woman was just like, "no, it's good." And clearly it was nothing less than a miracle from God.
We stood around a bit longer keeping ice (the slushie) on her leg and she looked at each of us, me, Rachel, Rubie and Sarah and pointed saying, "Good friend, Good friend, Good friend, Good friend."
Please pray that we run into her tomorrow, so that we can share more Jesus with her.
What a powerful, almight Father we serve! Praise Jesus for his goodness, grace and kingdom he brought tonight to this small little island here in Thailand. Amazing!!!!
